Promises, promises...

In an attempt to keep a promise to myself and friends, I have decided to try my hand at blogging again in a dire attempt to drag myself out of that precarious box that I've placed myself in once again. The box that I've hidden my dreams, my hopes and my desires to make room for the dreams and hopes of others. I have and will always share some of those dreams and hopes of others with them for I share some of those same dreams as well. But since some of them have come true, like marrying the love of my life and sharing my life, there are a few private ones that I have put on hold. They are crying to be released now but fear has been holding me back.

A lot has happened in my world. My kids are growing up and through a lot of hard work, hard talks and just plain truths, they are learning that actions have consequences. I've had to grow up along with them and make some harsh decisions for them. One of which was realizing that to be a better mom and wife, I had to become a little selfish instead of selfless. I realized that if I don't fulfill my own dreams then I can't teach them to fulfill their own and that by being afraid to reach for mine, I was teaching them fear too.

How did I do that? I'm still learning as I go but for starters,I did something that I never thought I could do. I left them. No, not as in walked out the door and abandoned them but I walked out the door and left them for the very first time as mom. And though, I was only a phone call and cab ride, eight miles to be exact, away I stood my ground and took some well-deserved mom time. I grabbed my suitcase and laptop, reserved a hotel room with a king-sized bed and went to the RWA,The Romance Writers of America conference.

My dream is to be a writer and to be able to let the voices in my head out so they can tell our story. No, I'm not delusional. When you have a dream and push it to the back of you soul eventually, it comes screaming for you to pick it up like a lost child who's looking for their mother.

So, in an attempt to making my dreams come true and with the help of my loving husband and some really great friends, these are the first steps:

Writing my blog, writing my dreams, stepping out of that box, facing my fears and being the best me that I can be for the people I love.